Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Do you know what a styptic pencil is?
I've asked around, and there seems to be a generational divide among men. Those over 60 regularly use styptic pencils, while the younger set has hardly heard of them. I thought that the advent of the safety razor (a razor with a guide that prevents you from cutting off layers of skin deli-slicer style) might be the dividing line between the styptic and non-styptic generations, but I discovered that it's only a partial explanation. Yes, the styptic pencil was a more standard part of men's shaving kits when straight razors allowed for wounds with arterial spray, but safety razors became big in the U.S. when the military issued millions of Gillette safety razors to soldiers in World War I. My dad would have started shaving in the late 1940's, long after the safety razor had established itself as the follicle slicer of choice.
The use of a styptic pencil is probably passed down from father to son. If your dad never introduced you to it, you make do with little squares of toilet paper. That's usually okay when today's 348-blade, quantum-sculpted safety razors make it nearly impossible to inflict major wounds. But the next time you slice your neck right before you intend to put on a white dress shirt, remember that there's an alternative. One that makes you part of a rich and manly heritage.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Listening Comprehension
Most high school juniors in New York State get the pleasure of taking the standardized English Regents Exam. This year, they had to write an essay after listening to a speech called "Oceans in Peril." It was written by Peter Benchley, who has repented since his Jaws days, and now thinks ocean life is precious or some crap. Many students had never heard the word "peril," and since the title is only given orally, they had to do their best to decipher it. Here are some examples of what they came up with:
- Oceans & Pearls
- Ocean's Apparel
- Oceans Imperal
- Oceans Inferral
- Oceans & Carols
And one that clearly calls for a movie...
- Ocean's Inferno
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, and seven other guys meet Virgil and charm their way through a guided tour of Hell. In this version, the innermost circle is reseved for the uncharismatic.